Connect with us

Travel

We Asked Two Experts How to Actually Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

And their answers make so much sense.

Published

on

Sullivan Matheson (left) and Matt Cassar (Image: Sullivan Mattheson)

Long-distance relationships may just be the worst thing in the world. Seriously, have you ever heard someone promoting long-distance relationships or say, “Oh, they’re a piece of cake you’re gonna love it”? No, of course not.

Los Angeles resident Sullivan Matheson met her boyfriend Matt Cassar eight years ago in high school. After college graduation in 2013, they went long distance because Cassar enlisted in the Marines. They have been together long distance for four and a half years.

Matheson, now 22, explained that it has been a rollercoaster experience, but feels the couple are in the best place they have ever been.

Relationship expert Terri Orbuch says many couples try to make long distance work, but not all succeed. So we asked both her and Matheson how to best make this challenging situation work.

Make an arrangement

The first things a couple needs to figure out is if long distance is something they really want to do. Matheson says long distance doesn’t always work because it isn’t taken seriously. It’s hard choice to make, and the couple has to be willing to work as a team. Orbuch says setting ground rules can couples meet expectations.

Be transparent about your feelings and remain open. That way you’re on the same page, and you aren’t closing yourself off if you are feeling lonely, frustrated or sad.

“Sit down together and set parameters. Make an arrangement,” Orbuch said. “How often will you talk to each other? How often will you see each other? Basically, how will it all play out? If one person says we will talk every day and visit every month, and the other says to meet every other, that will be frustrating.”

Create checkpoints

Not knowing when you will see your significant other next can harm a relationship. Plan out the next time you’ll see or hear from them. Matheson said that she and Cassar talked to each other at least once a week while he was training so they could catch up. Sending packages to each other also helped. If you are able, use technology as a helper in the relationship. Orbuch thinks creating frequent and constant contact regardless of time zones can help a relationship immensely.

“Try Skype, phone calls, Face Time, emailing and texting,” says Matheson. “What we know in relationships is to share daily experiences with each other. Share the little things as well as the big moments. Don’t just mention the big meeting or the test you took. Talk about the leaves changing or the person you ran into at the coffee shop.”

Maintain open communication and trust

Any relationship without trust will not last, and the same rule applies for long distance. Let your significant other know what is running through your mind. Good or bad, it will be resolved if you talk it out together.

“Don’t keep secrets,” Orbuch urged. “Be transparent about your feelings and remain open. That way you’re on the same page, and you aren’t closing yourself off if you are feeling lonely, frustrated or sad.”

Avoid letting the peeves get to you

“My biggest peeve is when people complain about not seeing their boyfriend for a week,” Matheson said. “I’m like, don’t even start with me. Try seven months without seeing him and not always knowing where he is. Then come talk to me.”

If friends, loved ones and even strangers show interest to your relationship, take their words lightly. Orbuch says it is very common for those in long distance relationships to hear questions such as, “Isn’t it hard being in a relationship?” or “Are you sad that you’re not with them all the time?” Orbuch said not to let the little struggles eat away at the happiness.

“You need to find the positives and strengthen what is good,” Orbuch said. “Don’t let stresses overwhelm you. You want to view the LDR in a positive way. The independence may be helping you in school or in a career. Frame the conversations to see the positive and the benefits.”

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

National News

Snapchat Adds New Bitmoji Character Options

How excited are you for Bitmoji Deluxe?

Published

on

Snapchat announced earlier this week a new way to customize your personal character with 1.9 septillion different options through Bitmoji Deluxe.

The updated software allows for users to snap a photo of themselves that shows while they customize their avatar. Users can now choose from over 100 different hair, hair treatment and skin colors.

And yes, you can even change your eyebrows!

Bitmoji Deluxe allows the user to take a selfie of themselves to do a side-by-side comparision of how they want their Bitmoji too look. It is also eliminating the need for only heteronormative avatar, allowing the user to feel comfortable using both feminine and masculine qualities to create their Bitmoji.

Snapchat bought the Bitmoji program for $64.2 million in 2016, and ever since then Bitmoji’s have been an integral addition to the identity of the app by allowing the user their custom made Bitmoji as the profile picture, the Snap Map feature, and even allows the user to add creativity to their stories.

Most observers feel the update will be effective in creating a more friendly experience for users.

It is safe to say that this update will only help but continue the popularity of Snapchat as not just an app, but a personalized experience every time you use it.

 

Continue Reading

Academics

Viewpoint: The Future Is Female at Oxford University

Goals are being achieved at the oldest English speaking university in the world.

Published

on

As the oldest university in the English-speaking world, Oxford is one rich in history. Countless notable alumni consist include comedians, poets, philosophers, and world leaders.

The distinguished school has made another recent milestone with their freshman class — women outnumber men applying to University of Oxford. This really shows some impressive steps towards educational equality.

Women were first able to attend Oxford in 1879 when Lady Margaret Hall opened exclusively for women. Women were able to attend lectures but could not obtain a formal Oxford degree. Following this, women were given full membership to Oxford in 1920.

Oxford’s colleges did not start to become co-educational institutions until 1974 when five all male colleges began accepting women. All of Oxford’s affiliated colleges became co-educational in 2008 when its final all-women college (St. Hilda’s College) began accepting men.

This year, women have been applying to the University of Oxford in record numbers. According to sources, Oxford’s freshman class from the fall of 2017 totaled 1070 females compared to 1025 men. While the application numbers for men and women was the same, more women chose to attend.

A spokesperson from Oxford told The Guardian, ““While it’s too early to call this a trend based on one year’s numbers, it is a welcome sign of progress for female applicants to Oxford.”

While this trend can certainly be found at other colleges and universities throughout the English-speaking world, the fact that one of the most prestigious Universities is following the trend speaks volumes: Women are not only achieving higher rates of education, but are earning higher rates of top-tier quality education.

Some of these women may very well become the next notable alumni of the University of Oxford.

Data on admissions can be found through the University and College Admissions Service (UCAS).

Continue Reading

Health

Paris is Dealing With A Serious Rat Infestation Problem

This is in no way as cool as Pizza Rat.

Published

on

Paris has found itself in the midst of an infestation. Of rats. While all large cities — and most smaller ones — are home to a certain number of the rodents, the rat population on the banks of the Seine seems to have reached frightening levels.

 Caused partially by the Seine’s record high flooding and partially by an apparent immunity to poison, the rats have come to the surface and multiplied. Hordes of them have been seen in parks causing portions of those parks to be closed to the public and horrified waste collectors have opened dumpsters to find them full, not of garbage, but of rats.

 Experts hypothesize that there are about two rats in the city per every Parisian, equivalent to about 4.4 million rats in the inner city alone–each rat the potential host of upwards of a dozen parasites.

 Steps have been taken to reduce these numbers, including cordoning off certain areas and using various poisoning methods, but none seem to have taken hold.

 As of now, the famous City of Lights offers both romance…and many, many rodents.  

OK, that was disgusting. Makes you wish for the old days when we had wholesome rodents like Pizza Rat:

Continue Reading

Sign up for the Morning Scoop

and wake up with us each day.

CMN Reports

Campus Crime6 mins ago

Pennsylvania University Stunned by Child Pornography Allegations

Popular philosophy professor at Bloomsburg University charged with possessing child porn.

National News10 hours ago

Did the College Board Use Florida Shooting as Advertising Strategy?

A controversial mass email sent by the College Board on Wednesday has gone viral.

National News10 hours ago

College Grants Scholarship Aid to Slain Police Officer’s Family

Eric Joering was fatally shot while on duty on February 10th.

Ajit Pai at podium Ajit Pai at podium
National News14 hours ago

States Fight Back Against FCC’s Orders to End Net Neutrality in April

Nearly half the states in the U.S. are fighting for net neutrality.

by , Western Governors University
National News1 day ago

Florida Students Swarm the Capitol and Demand Reform

These students are here to say that they understand what is going on and want reform.

by , West Chester
Campus Crime2 days ago

California Man Arrested with AR-15 After Threats to Shoot Up College

27-year-old made threats on Facebook against an unspecified college.

Free Speech2 days ago

University of Vermont Students and Faculty Rally Against Racial Injustices

The rallies come as a response to growing racial tensions on the University of Vermont campus.

by , Colorado State University
Charity2 days ago

Thousands Donated to Help Fight Against Gun Violence

Celebrities contribute for a cause.

by , University of Texas

Top Reads