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Is There Really an Indie Burn Book?

Bonus points if the vocalist can’t really sing but everyone likes to pretend he does because he’s attractive.

Hazel Dequito

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Indie is one of the genres of music, aside from pop, that’s the easiest to make fun of. “Indie” isn’t even really a genre and almost anything and everything could be considered indie as long as it has a bit of synth and a “soft boy” aesthetic.

Bonus points if the vocalist can’t really sing but everyone likes to pretend he does because he’s attractive.

You can spot an indie kid by their dyed hair, paired with overgrown roots, Kanken backpack (indie points if it’s yellow!), cuffed high-waisted pants or Dickies that compliment their band shirt, and patterned socks worn with their dirty, worn in Old Skool Vans or Doc Martens.

Although, sometimes when you look at an indie kid from the back, you can’t quite tell if it’s an edgy teenager or a stylish old person. 

But, I wonder, is there really an indie burn book?

At this point in time there should be. Digging into the thread of Japanese Breakfast’s tweet, someone links a Reddit thread (yes, I know, Reddit is absolutely the last place you probably want to go for anything).

There were more assault allegations than good albums this year,” writes one person. And they’re absolutely correct. Summer Salt, Brockhampton, The Orwells, BØRNS—I would go on, but that list would be a mile long. 

My absolute favorite has to be “sad white boy with guitar has officially been replaced by sad white girl with guitar and diversity has been solved.”

The follow up to that would have to be “sad white girls with guitars are the mumble rappers of indie.” *Coughs* Clairo.

My curiosity got the best of me and went down the rabbit hole of these Reddit threads. Here are some that struck me:

“If this is gonna be a Beach House roast, then every joke has to be the same.”

A Brief Inquiry Into Crying on Tinder

“King Krule is the musical equivalent of loose-fitting short sleeve button-downs, cuffed corduroys, and American Spirits you snagged from your older brother.”

“I love the one that goes AAAAAAAUUGHHHHHHHHUUUUUURRRGHHH u wot m8 (surf guitar riff)

If you obsess over singers and bands, and are one of those people who make a playlist for every occasion, join CMN’s Music Journalism Course and get real-time experience, intense feedback on your writing, exposure to music industry insiders, and a great place to display build your portfolio. Get all the details on the Music Journalism Course here.

Hazel is in her second year of college at Drexel University, majoring in communications with a concentration in journalism. She has always loved writing but only recently decided to take up journalism. Hazel is also minoring in art history and enjoys painting in her free time.

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